A
gift from the gods on New Year’s Eve 2002,
Noah
was an 18 year old, blonde-haired, brown-eyed Ganymede.
There
was not one part of his lithe body that my hands or mouth did not touch.
I
found that he had the smallest endowment of any man I had ever been with.
I
could take his cock and balls in my mouth at once. He was perfection.
I
might have married him, except for the fact that he wasn’t overly found of me.
Nearly
a decade lay between us, and I believe he kept waiting for me to grow young,
While
I kept waiting, at times, for him to acknowledge that I existed.
I
wish I knew where he was now, so that I could pay him a handsome sum
To
forget my age, become my husband, and pretend to love me.
Though the last two lines are no longer
representative of my views on the young man, the remaining sentiments are
accurate. I wrote the above summation shortly after Noah and I
had parted, but truthfully, no words can do justice to the
beauty that boy possessed. When he approached
me at Club 216 with a soft-spoken invitation to dance, I was damn near breathless.
Yet, Noah, for all his glory, remains an enigma to me. On first impression, he seemed reticent in nature; however, once we started dancing, he became physically aggressive to such an extent that I extended an invitation to my apartment for an overnight stay. In reply, he stated he had never before gone home with a stranger, so he had to ask two female friends for their guidance. They took me away from Noah, and questioned my intentions. I replied that I thought Noah was the most beautiful young man I had ever seen, and I wanted to hold him for the night; I promised I wouldn't bring any harm to him and, of all the people in the club, I was the one who could be trusted to do right by him. In turn, they counseled Noah that it was safe to go home with me.
As we left the club, I was overjoyed to have him at my side. I had such dreams of holding, kissing, and worshipping him. I wanted to make the night special for both of us. Yet, soon after we got into bed, he became insistent on my instigating penetration; I was still a virgin in the sense of being a 'top', and didn't want to lose my virginity to someone I had just met. I repeatedly told Noah that I just wanted to worship him, but he kept trying to force me, sans condom, inside him. Truthfully, I wasn't even fully erect, because for me to get an erection, there has to be some meaning to the act. Yet, the boy did somehow manage to get me inside of him; though, the results were short-lived, disastrous, and led to both he and I having to take an impromptu shower.
After the failed attempt at lovemaking, I believe due in part to embarrassment on his part for what had occurred, an awkward wall of silence rose up to separate us. I tried to tell him that such incidents were nothing of which to be ashamed; yet, he seemed inconsolable on the matter. After about twenty minutes had passed with me wordlessly holding him, I asked if we could start over, if I could just worship him. He said 'yes', and the resulting experience was one of the most memorable intimate encounters I have ever had. My lips touched every part of him, finding no flaw on any portion of his being. To finish, I gave him a blowjob and drunk his essence until he gently pushed me away.
Then, reality began to encroach upon my dream. In quasi-straight boy fashion, Noah stated that he couldn’t bring himself to return the favor. I truthfully replied that I didn't want him to, and went on to explain that I was never comfortable with someone giving me a blowjob. My sexual fulfillment came in pleasuring my partner.
The conversation then took stranger turns; Noah told me of his unrequited love for a closeted soccer player at the university he was attending. (My wealth would be immeasurable if I had compensation for every time I was lying in bed with a man and he was speaking of his longing for a man other than myself.) Then, there came the tale of how he had once shared a bed with his sister's husband and had fondled him as he slept. Noah also related how, just the day prior, he had taken his mother’s credit card and engaged in an unauthorized shopping spree. He was going to deny having used it so she would think it had been stolen; that way, the charges would just be written off as fraudulent.
I suppose I should be thankful that,
blinded by his physical beauty, I didn’t
break out the checkbook and get down on one knee, because Noah just might have
accepted my proposal…for all the wrong reasons.
The next morning, Noah awoke and coldly stated he wanted to leave. I pleaded with him to first allow me to take his photo, a request to which he begrudgingly acquiesced. Seconds thereafter, as I stared down at digital image, it was plainly evident the subject was miserable. His tolerance towards me, for an inexplicable reason, was exhausted. I deleted the image and said I would walk him to the place where he had pre-arranged to be picked up by his friend.
Waiting for his ride,
he and I stood in a cold rain beneath a leaky funeral home awning. He was
shivering. I offered him my jacket; he wouldn't take it.
I attempted conversation, but his answers took the form of mono-syllabic daggers. Silence overtook us. Yet, when his friend arrived, Noah
extended an invitation to breakfast. Not wanting my time with this golden boy to
ever end, I accepted.
At the restaurant, I ceased to exist as
Noah and his friend engaged in a closed conversation, smoked like fiends, and
swore like sailors. In between four-letter
expletives, I was remembered long enough by his friend to get a lecture,
ironically enough, about
how I should take up reading The Bible.
After breakfast, I was dropped back at my apartment, where Noah and I
shared a cold parting. I honestly
thought that was the last I’d see of him.
To my surprise, he showed up again a
few hours later. His friend had
accompanied him, though she excused herself so that Noah and I could be
alone. I thought his return meant that
he was genuinely fond of me, but when I tried to be affectionate with him, he
pushed me away. He said he and his friend
wanted to see a film and had stopped by to ask if I wanted to come along.
Once again, I said, 'yes'.
During the film, I tried to hold Noah’s hand, but the affection was strained, so I relented. The film ended, and strangely enough, despite his lingering coldness
towards me, Noah invited me on a drive to pick up a male friend. I was so confused at that point about where
I stood with him; I kept following him like a lost puppy in the hope that
he would notice me.
His placement in the car assured that
wasn’t going to occur. Noah rode
shotgun next to his friend, while I sat in the back alone. When we arrived at our destination, the home
of
a young man named Michael, Noah climbed into the back seat and threw his arms
around me. He smiled as he placed one
of my hands over the front of his jeans, where it remained, gently fondling him,
until we arrived back at my apartment.
I went to kiss him as I got out of the car, but he kept his lips closed
and didn’t return the affection.
That night, I saw him at Club 216…in Michael’s arms. He didn’t attempt to speak to me, and that
was the last I ever saw of him.